i'm in this conflict resolution class right now. i have been learning a lot about myself and the conflicts that i have with the people i spend time with. i was trying out a certain activity from the textbook, and i examined my relationship with my mom. here are the things that i discovered.
a lot of people get really defensive when they are in arguments. they do what they can to protect themselves, even if it means hurting the other person. it isn't like they do it on purpose, but it is something that is really easy for most people to fall into. i am certainly not exempt from this.
my mom, however, is so good about this. i never really realized it before, but almost every argument that i have with her, while frustrating, is very rarely centered around her. she doesn't try to compete with me to win an argument, she doesn't make me feel like she can overpower me, and in the moments when she does slip a little, she is quick to go back and correct herself. she is so concerned with protect our relationship as mother and daughter, that she makes herself vulnerable to a lot of hurtful things. i know this because i know that i have definitely hurt her on more than one occasion. had i realized this quality in her sooner, i would have been able to appreciate all of the things my mom does to make me feel really good.
never once has she made me feel like i wasn't worth something to her. even when she gets mad at me, she protects me from feeling bad about myself. she cares deeply for who i am, and it feels really nice.
i cannot believe that i have been living with this person for 21 years, and have failed to recognize her greatness. as a person who strives to become better at making people feel loved, i am very lucky to have such a great example as a mother.
